Can you believe it? I am running!

This is the story so far:  I did very little from the time I started this blog until about two months ago.  It was then I saw a post on my Facebook feed that gave me the motivation to get back on my journey to health.  Let me give you the details:

I am kind of a quiet, laid back person.  If all I said was I am working out, you would probably assume that I am doing something that at least looks less aggressive, like walking or yoga.  For a big part of my life, running was forced on me. There was the humiliating races, and runs around the field or gym as part of PhysEd.  I actually took dance and home PE to get out of running from tenth through twelfth grades. Then I enlisted in the Army.  I ran just well enough to keep myself from getting booted out.  I was discouraged because I was not able to improve my times my much, regardless of how much they made me run.  A hip injury ended my running for the last year and a half of my enlistment.  

After I was honorably discharged from the Army, I was not willing to risk any more damage to my body.  There were a few times I actually got back to where I was working out, but I really had no interest in trying running again.  

Then came the "light-bulb" moment.  I follow a comic called The Oatmeal (check it out the guy is hilarious).  The Oatmeal announced a race on their Facebook page in mid-March called "Beat the Blerch*". Cake at the aid stations?  People pacing in fat suits?  That name!!!  This has to be the least serious a run can get without turning into some sort of party. Oh wait! There will be cake! Maybe this IS a party.  I decided I HAD to get in on this run.

The registration opened on March 29th and sold out in less than a half an hour.  At the time, there was only one day available and only 2000 slots total, regardless of distance the runner selected.  I was able to slog through the process in about twenty three minutes and get in to the 10k run that I wanted to try.   So, I was lucky enough to get in my first try.  So now I have given the race organizers nearly sixty of my dollars, and I have a deadline of September 21st to be in okay enough shape to not make a total fool of myself.  To be clear, my definition of this is crossing the finish line in less than ninety minutes and running the whole distance, or doing something that resembles running if things go terribly wrong. 

So now, back to the present.  I am about six weeks into training towards this run.  I started out just walking for a few weeks but I am now running three times a week, using Run Double's "Couch to 5k" app on my phone.  Check it out here for Android. (If you use iPhone, there are several options on iTunes for similar apps).  I may not be very fast yet, but at least I am making progress.  

*Want to more about the Blerch?  Check out The Oatmeal's comic "The terrible and wonderful reasons why I run long distances" here.

Rising like a phoenix.

This blog burned out and died pretty fast shortly after I started it.  I could list myriad excuses why, but they are all just that: excuses.  To make a long story short, I got back on the health and fitness track about 2 months ago.  So, to really beat this phoenix metaphor to death: out of the ashes of my old enthusiasm, a new, slowly growing motivation is rising.

I am keeping this post short for tonight.  It is late, and I need sleep.  I am feeling determined to start shouting to the world what I am doing, so this posting.  It is brief and more of a teaser.  I will promise a more complete explanation to all of you tomorrow.  For now, I leave you with this lovely thought that I borrowed off the internet:

Changing My Mind(set)

I realized that while I have been discussing what I want to change, I have not shared what is already great about me.  Everyone has strengths.  Everyone has at least one "good" habit.  In the finest tradition of silly things so many people do, I have masked my ability to downplay my good with the guise of humility.  Squashing your own special qualities just to appear like you are not bragging only helps feed poor self esteem.  I have spent too many years stuffing my better qualities away just so I would not have to face the fact that I am a great person.
Accepting that fact means I have to change.  The bad habits that I have developed over the years need to go to allow my self esteem to lift.  I need to adopt behaviors that let the real me shine.

So without further ado, here is a partial list of what is "right" about me.  (I only have so much space here, so I am listing what I feel is most important to share.)

1.  I have never smoked a cigarette. I am so glad I do not have this hazard to my health and finances on my back.  I hear it is a very hard addiction to break.  I salute anyone who has broken this habit or is working on quitting.
2.  I have never done any drugs legal, illegal or otherwise that could cause me real problems with addiction.  The only exception to this would be caffeine.  I will be addressing that in one of my weekly changes. Stay tuned!
3.  I am stronger than I sometimes give myself credit.  I have weathered the trials in my life and I have survived.  My challenges have made me a better person.
4.  I have a generous heart.  I always want to share what I have, even if it is just a smile, to make someone else better.  I would rather cheer at someone's success than wallow in what I have not done.
5.  I am a leader.  This is a quality of mine that gets squashed a lot.  Inside of me there is a wonderful confident person who loves to teach and inspire others. I just need to give myself a chance.
6.  I am an amazing cook. I love to try new recipes and techniques. I have an uncanny ability to get most of them right the first time.  I am also good at making up my own recipes.
7. I am artistic.  Not only can I paint a pretty picture, I have a great eye for colors, composition, and overall aesthetics.
8.  I am creative. Beyond art and cooking, I can think outside of the box in many areas of my life when I need to.
9. I am intelligent.  I love to learn.  I need to learn.  I love collecting facts.  I love being able to apply new knowledge to my life.  I also love ask questions and think about things critically.
10.   I am beautiful!!! I mean this!  Inside and out I am a unique flower.  I have a pretty face.  I have great skin.  I glow from the inside out.  People want to know me because my inner light shines.

I deserve to be the best that I  can be.  I am too valuable to mistreat.  I need to be the person I was born to be.

I hope that if you are suffering from low self-esteem like I am, that you can dig deep and see what a wonderful person you are.  Please do not allow yourself to suffer.  Yes, I will take my own advice.

Setting Goals, avoiding Overwhelming Myself.

Today I am off to a good start.  I am slowing down and savoring my food.  I walked 30 minutes.  I also remembered to add some produce to breakfast and lunch.  Improvement is more important than perfection!

I stated that I want too loose weight and that I am doing it by making changes to my lifestyle.  In order to guide me, I need to have specific goals.  How else will I know if all my work is paying off?

My ultimate goals are to loose 65 pounds and fit back into my size 6 and 8 clothes. This is a lot of weight to loose.  So in the spirit of my smaller steps approach, I am setting some intermediate goals.  So for the next 30 days my goal will be to loose 10 pounds.

The whole reason I am doing this whole change in steps is because I have tried the all or nothing approach in the past.  I tend to tackle a lot of projects like this.  What usually happens that I wind up getting frustrated and overwhelmed.  Even now I see what else I want to do to reach my goals, but I have given myself permission to add those activities at a later date.  I already have some ideas of what I want to do add next week, but I am not going to sabotage my focus on this week's changes by adding more too soon.

Small Steps to Great Things.

All my life I have been battling my weight.  Right now I weigh the most I have ever weighed (except while pregnant).  My BMI is too high.  My blood pressure is borderline.  I do not have any energy.  There are many aspects of my lifestyle that need to change.  

I am going to start by changing a few things every week.  This week I commit to:
-Eating fruits and/or veggies with every meal (including snacks)
-Slowing down my eating.  A full meal should take 20 minutes to eat.
-Walking 30 minutes a day, 5 days this week.  

Next week I will add to this.  If I want to loose weight it needs to be a long term commitment, not some quick fix that does not teach me how to keep it off.