Changing My Mind(set)

I realized that while I have been discussing what I want to change, I have not shared what is already great about me.  Everyone has strengths.  Everyone has at least one "good" habit.  In the finest tradition of silly things so many people do, I have masked my ability to downplay my good with the guise of humility.  Squashing your own special qualities just to appear like you are not bragging only helps feed poor self esteem.  I have spent too many years stuffing my better qualities away just so I would not have to face the fact that I am a great person.
Accepting that fact means I have to change.  The bad habits that I have developed over the years need to go to allow my self esteem to lift.  I need to adopt behaviors that let the real me shine.

So without further ado, here is a partial list of what is "right" about me.  (I only have so much space here, so I am listing what I feel is most important to share.)

1.  I have never smoked a cigarette. I am so glad I do not have this hazard to my health and finances on my back.  I hear it is a very hard addiction to break.  I salute anyone who has broken this habit or is working on quitting.
2.  I have never done any drugs legal, illegal or otherwise that could cause me real problems with addiction.  The only exception to this would be caffeine.  I will be addressing that in one of my weekly changes. Stay tuned!
3.  I am stronger than I sometimes give myself credit.  I have weathered the trials in my life and I have survived.  My challenges have made me a better person.
4.  I have a generous heart.  I always want to share what I have, even if it is just a smile, to make someone else better.  I would rather cheer at someone's success than wallow in what I have not done.
5.  I am a leader.  This is a quality of mine that gets squashed a lot.  Inside of me there is a wonderful confident person who loves to teach and inspire others. I just need to give myself a chance.
6.  I am an amazing cook. I love to try new recipes and techniques. I have an uncanny ability to get most of them right the first time.  I am also good at making up my own recipes.
7. I am artistic.  Not only can I paint a pretty picture, I have a great eye for colors, composition, and overall aesthetics.
8.  I am creative. Beyond art and cooking, I can think outside of the box in many areas of my life when I need to.
9. I am intelligent.  I love to learn.  I need to learn.  I love collecting facts.  I love being able to apply new knowledge to my life.  I also love ask questions and think about things critically.
10.   I am beautiful!!! I mean this!  Inside and out I am a unique flower.  I have a pretty face.  I have great skin.  I glow from the inside out.  People want to know me because my inner light shines.

I deserve to be the best that I  can be.  I am too valuable to mistreat.  I need to be the person I was born to be.

I hope that if you are suffering from low self-esteem like I am, that you can dig deep and see what a wonderful person you are.  Please do not allow yourself to suffer.  Yes, I will take my own advice.

Setting Goals, avoiding Overwhelming Myself.

Today I am off to a good start.  I am slowing down and savoring my food.  I walked 30 minutes.  I also remembered to add some produce to breakfast and lunch.  Improvement is more important than perfection!

I stated that I want too loose weight and that I am doing it by making changes to my lifestyle.  In order to guide me, I need to have specific goals.  How else will I know if all my work is paying off?

My ultimate goals are to loose 65 pounds and fit back into my size 6 and 8 clothes. This is a lot of weight to loose.  So in the spirit of my smaller steps approach, I am setting some intermediate goals.  So for the next 30 days my goal will be to loose 10 pounds.

The whole reason I am doing this whole change in steps is because I have tried the all or nothing approach in the past.  I tend to tackle a lot of projects like this.  What usually happens that I wind up getting frustrated and overwhelmed.  Even now I see what else I want to do to reach my goals, but I have given myself permission to add those activities at a later date.  I already have some ideas of what I want to do add next week, but I am not going to sabotage my focus on this week's changes by adding more too soon.

Small Steps to Great Things.

All my life I have been battling my weight.  Right now I weigh the most I have ever weighed (except while pregnant).  My BMI is too high.  My blood pressure is borderline.  I do not have any energy.  There are many aspects of my lifestyle that need to change.  

I am going to start by changing a few things every week.  This week I commit to:
-Eating fruits and/or veggies with every meal (including snacks)
-Slowing down my eating.  A full meal should take 20 minutes to eat.
-Walking 30 minutes a day, 5 days this week.  

Next week I will add to this.  If I want to loose weight it needs to be a long term commitment, not some quick fix that does not teach me how to keep it off.